Separation Anxiety

Little girl crying

I've been teaching English in Taiwan since 1992, and in my early years here I worked for a woman who operated a branch of a chain of language schools where I taught children's classes in addition to adult conversation classes. She also ran a private kindergarten where I was regularly pressed into service teaching children between the ages of three and six.

One rite of passage I witnessed regularly occurred when a very young child was left at the kindergarten by his or her mother for the first time. Many children, although they may have been a bit timid or anxious initially, got through it in fine fashion. By lunchtime they would be running around and playing with the other kids, and seemed none the worse for the experience.

For others, however, it was a very different story. Some children would be so traumatized by their perceived abandonment that they would scream and wail for hours on end at volumes belying their diminutive size, impervious to any attempts by teachers or other children to interact with or comfort them in any way. In some cases, this continued until mom returned at day's end to pick the child up, only to continue unabated the next day. I remember one little girl who screamed all day for two solid weeks—I think she finally just wore herself out.

Sooner or later, the kid finally begins to realize that (a) crying accomplishes nothing, (b) the people at the kindergarten are nice, (c) there are some cool toys to play with and some fun activities to be part of, and (d) that yes, mom really will come back.

I suppose it's a natural part of growing up.

Psychologists refer to this as separation anxiety, and I can attest to the fact that it can be extremely traumatic for some children. It's as if everything in their comfortable, familiar little world has been stripped away from them and the resulting stress is more than they can bear.

Walk this way

The idea of separation anxiety can also be applied to a lot of Christians. It is overwhelmingly clear from many different passages of Scripture that Christians are to strive to be holy, and that we are to be separate. Even the most casual reading of the New Testament makes it thunderingly obvious that Christians are to live in a way that makes it clear to all that we are different from the world.

We are told in Scripture that we are in the world, but not of the world. We are to let our light shine before men. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are to walk in the Spirit so that we won't fulfill the lust of the flesh. We are not to fashion ourselves according to the former lusts in our ignorance. We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our strength and with all our mind, and our neighbor as ourselves. We are to be holy for He is holy.

Open Bible waiting to be read

Just read it: Here's a challenge for you: Take a couple of weeks and sit down and just read the New Testament from start to finish, straight through. Don't stop to slice and dice individual verses: Read. At least once in your life, just read it. All the way through, from Matthew to Revelation, just like a novel.

If you come away from that experience with any feeling for what it means to be a Christian other than what I described above, go back and try again...and make sure you didn't inadvertently pick up a copy of The Duh Vinci Code.

Jesus and the New Testament writers pound the message home again and again: Our lives are to be characterized by a desire for holiness, a hatred of sin, and a love for others. Why? Because our Father in heaven is holy, hates sin, and loves us—and we are to faithfully represent Him and present the message of the gospel to a lost and dying world.

It's time for a lot of people who call themselves Christians to get real. And it's not as if I were telling anyone anything new. It's not as if I were introducing some radical new doctrine or some new move of the Holy Spirit.

This is nuts and bolts: Christianity 101. And one of the most fundamental aspects of all of this can be summed up in one single word:

Separation.

Biblical separation is
nothing more than
wanting to please and
honor God so much
that we seek to avoid
anything that displeases
or dishonors Him.

First of all, don't get all bent out of shape over the word "separation." It does not mean to sell your house, take your kids out of school, and hole up with a gaggle of glassy-eyed, like-minded lunatics in an underground bunker somewhere in the mountains with some guns and supplies and wait for doomsday. And it does not mean to walk around with your nose in the air treating people you consider sinful as if they carried the Ebola virus.

Think about it. Was Jesus a pariah? Did Jesus isolate Himself from society? Did Jesus refuse to associate with sinful people? Hardly. He didn't just let them come to Him—He went to them. He sought them out. He had compassion on them. He loved them, and sought to make His Father's love known to them.

He loved them enough to die for them—which is exactly what He did.

How are you supposed to let your light shine before men if you don't want to have anything to do with people you consider dirty rotten sinners? That's not just arrogant and hypocritical, it's unbiblical and un-Christlike.

But did He condone or participate in their sinful activities? No.

Biblical separation is nothing more than wanting to please and honor God so much that we seek to avoid anything that displeases or dishonors Him. And the closer we draw to Him, the more we find ourselves doing just that.

Get down off that fence!

Anytime I write an article for this website, it's always something the Lord has impressed upon my heart. It's something the Holy Spirit has influenced me to think about or brought to my attention in some manner. But this one is a little bit different.

This is the first time in a long time I really felt like I had a "word from the Lord," so to speak. And trust me—I am not someone who tosses that phrase around casually. I felt this in my spirit so strongly and so distinctly that I actually asked the Lord to confirm that He wanted me to share it as such. I won't bore you with the details, but He did indeed give me confirmation later the same day in a way that left no doubt in my mind.

It's one thing to write an article about a topic I've been thinking about, but it's another to present it as something the Lord specifically told me to write. I confess that I almost hesitate to do so, because I get so sick of the lame-brained, boneheaded things I see on the web posted by well-meaning but apparently unstable individuals. My fear is that I'll be lumped in the same category as people who post breathtaking revelations like the following:

"My cat had four kittens yesterday...I think the Lord is trying to tell me the Rapture will happen in April!!"

(Uh, no ma'am. I think the Lord's trying to tell you to get your cat spayed.)

Anyway, with that said, here goes:

I was riding the commuter train to the school where I teach English one morning recently (April 2012), and I was gazing out the window and just sort of doing my usual "Good morning, Lord" routine, communing with Him, praising Him, and so on.

Long wooden fence

As I stared blankly out the window of the train, suddenly the Lord gave me an image of a large fence running across the United States, with many people sitting on top of it (ooh, deep symbolism there). The fence ran from north to south, roughly in the middle of the country. Actually it was along what I later realized was the New Madrid Fault near the Mississippi River, although I had no sense that this was significant. I'm not saying it wasn't, but it didn't seem so at the time and I want to be careful not to read too much into it.

Then I saw Jesus grab the fence with His bare hands and start shaking it, and He wasted no time in really giving it some muscle. Almost immediately He started shaking it hard. People were trying to hang on, but as the shaking grew even stronger more and more people fell off. It wasn't long before He was shaking it so violently that everybody came tumbling off the fence. Some came down on one side, and some came down on the other. But by the time He was done, nobody was left sitting on the fence. During the whole sequence, the two key words that kept popping into my mind again and again were shaking and separation. That's it. The end.

This sort of thing doesn't happen to me a lot...once in a while, but not often. So when it does, the Lord really gets my attention. I immediately had the sense that the Lord intended for me to write an article about what He had shown me. However, I did pray on and off during the day that He would give me some confirmation of that, which He did.

So, I'm guessing you don't have to be the prophet Daniel to figure this one out. The Lord is shaking America, and He's going to shake it hard enough to separate the believers from the unbelievers; to separate those who belong to Him from those who don't. I realize that in many ways this shaking has been going on for years now. In spite of that, however, there are still many Americans sitting on the fence, spiritually speaking.

They probably believe in God. They probably don't have a problem with the fact that Jesus really existed. And the Bible, well...they might respect it, but is it divinely inspired? Hmm...

But whatever the case, nobody's going to be left sitting on the fence.

Although some of them may have a passing familiarity with the gospel, a lot of the ideas they hear talked about on TV, see in movies, and read in books (including many sold in Christian bookstores) sound appealing, too. The world is being inundated with seductive ideas designed to satisfy itching ears, and here's a quick Top 10 list right off the top of my head:

1. There are lots of ways to God (Oprah Winfrey).

2. Hell doesn't exist, so everyone is going to heaven (Rob Bell).

3. The main thing is to enjoy your best life now (Joel Osteen).

4. In churches today, it's more important for sinners to feel comfortable and at home than convicted by the Holy Spirit (Rick Warren).

5. God is a jolly, cosmic Santa Claus that you can manipulate into giving you whatever material things your heart desires...for a love offering, of course (most Christian TV).

6. God is really some advanced race of extraterrestrials from another galaxy...and they'll be back (tons of books and movies).

7. According to a Mayan calendar somebody dug up, the world will end on December 21, 2012. So, party on—none of this matters anyway (see no. 6).

8. Witchcraft, black magic, necromancy, and other demonic activities are good clean fun and appropriate for children of all ages (J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series).

9. As long as you are sincere and believe in one God (or god), it doesn't matter if you are a follower of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or any one of an eclectic array of pagan religions as long as we can come together and achieve some type of "unity of the faith" (Pope John Paul II, and every pope since).

10. The Bible is a collection of Jewish legends and fairy tales which can scarcely be taken seriously as a historical document, let alone as being of divine authorship (most secular scholars).

At the same time, many born-again believers in America are becoming increasingly sensitized to the apostasy that is swallowing the country and are pressing in and strengthening their relationship and deepening their walk with the Lord. In the process, they are increasingly separating themselves from the things that are worshiped by the world, and separating themselves unto God and things that are pleasing to Him.

The message I get from what the Lord showed me, however, is that this separation is going to get ramped up to a critical level; it's going to reach the point where there will be little question concerning who's in and who's out. There's going to be a separation on a level we have not yet witnessed. At that point, everyone will know who belongs to Christ and who doesn't.

Some will cling to the Word—
some will cling to the world.

Some will repent and seek Him—
others will rebel and forsake Him.

And everybody's going to know which team you're playing for.

One thing that troubled me as I worked on this article, trying to accurately communicate what I felt the Lord wanted me to convey, was whether or not what the Lord showed me represented some sudden cataclysmic event. Originally I assumed it did, but I had no sense of what it might be. However, one doesn't have to scratch one's head too hard to imagine a few possibilities: terrorist attack, megaquake (New Madrid Fault?), CME event, super volcano, economic meltdown, etc. Pick your apocalypse.

This bothered me enough that I continued to pray about it, because it's not my intention to try to sound all prophetic just for the thrills and chills. I have no desire to come across like some kind of flake who posts a YouTube video every three months claiming that Jesus Himself has revealed to me that the Rapture is only three months away.

As I continued seeking the Lord on this, He made me realize that what He had shown me was not necessarily one individual event that would suddenly throw the entire country into DEFCON 1. That's possible, of course, but it may simply be the culmination of what has been happening for decades, perhaps in conjunction with other events that serve as continued warnings.

After all, there has been a separation going on, and it has been intensifying in recent years. More and more born-again, Bible-believing Christians are increasingly being set up to be mocked, marginalized, and generally kicked to the curb with the tsunami of apostasy that is enveloping the nation and the world. Christians are increasingly being painted as intolerant religious fundamentalists and wild-eyed apocalyptic wackos by those who would embrace whatever seductive, politically correct New Age lies Satan is busy spoon-feeding the world.

It's not always about us

Not all kinds of separation are about what we do, however. To a large extent it's about what God has already done for us. In a number of ways, it's God who has done the separating. For example:

1. We have been made separate from the kingdom of darkness...

...and separate unto the kingdom of Christ.

9For this cause, we also, since the day we heard this, don't cease praying and making requests for you, that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10that you may walk worthily of the Lord, to please him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11strengthened with all power, according to the might of his glory, for all endurance and perseverance with joy; 12giving thanks to the Father, who made us fit to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light;

13who delivered us out of the power of darkness, and translated us into the Kingdom of the Son of his love; 14in whom we have our redemption, the forgiveness of our sins.

(Colossians 1:9–14)

We're not playing for Satan's team anymore...God pulled off a blockbuster trade. This is one trade that didn't involve any second-string players or first-round draft picks, however. He had to give up nothing less than the life of His Son to give us the chance to be part of His team.

2. We have been made separate from darkness...

...and separate unto light.

12Again, therefore, Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. He who follows me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life."

(John 8:12)

We are no longer in darkness—we are children of the light.

3. We have been made separate from being judged...

...and separate unto not being judged.

18He who believes in him is not judged. He who doesn't believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the one and only Son of God.

(John 3:18)

From the day we reach the age of accountability and know what is morally right from what is morally wrong, we are under condemnation—we live under a spiritual death sentence. Our only possible reprieve is to put our faith in what Christ did for us on the cross.

4. We have been made separate from alienation from God...

...and separate unto reconciliation with God.

21You, being in past times alienated and enemies in your mind in your evil works, 22yet now he has reconciled in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and without blemish and blameless before him.

(Colossians 1:21–22)

We are by nature—our fallen, carnal nature, that is—enemies of God. Christ made it possible for us to be reconciled to the Father, and when we become believers God sees us as being every single bit as "holy and without blemish and blameless" as Jesus.

That's pretty holy and without blemish and blameless.

5. We have been made separate from death...

...and separate unto life.

24Most certainly I tell you, he who hears my word, and believes him who sent me, has eternal life, and doesn't come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

(John 5:24)

We face an eternity of separation from God until we believe on the name of His Son, and that's the kind of death John is talking about. As soon as we become believers, however, we are promised an eternity in His presence—and the Bible says our lives in heaven will be wonderful beyond anything we can possibly imagine. That's the kind of life John is talking about.

But sometimes it is about us

Of course, other forms of separation are more up to us. As we grow in our faith and our knowledge of God, we should naturally want to draw closer to Him, and this should produce some changes in our lives.

Please remember one important thing, however: Be wary of those who would deceive you into thinking it's your changed behavior that saves you...as if salvation were something you could earn by following some rules or rituals (as per the Roman Catholic Church) or otherwise merit through your exemplary moral behavior (as per basically any other religion on earth). It isn't.

8For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9not of works, that no one would boast.

(Ephesians 2:8–9)

If you never memorize another passage of Scripture for as long as you live, you should memorize this one. It says it all.

I honestly don't know how they do it, but some people manage to find slippery ways of wiggling around this foundational doctrine. Salvation, obtaining it and keeping it, does not—it cannot—depend on how good we are; it rests solely on how good He is. Grace is defined as unmerited favor, and that means we have never done nor can we ever do anything to merit it. Nor can we ever do anything to lose it:

27My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of my Father's hand.

(John 10:27–29)

Nine gifts of the Spirit

You might want to tuck that one away, too.

Changed behavior is a natural expression of the fact that we are saved and that the Holy Spirit dwells within us. It shows we are saved; it doesn't save us. Qualities that should characterize a believer's life—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control—all become increasingly evident as we yield ourselves to the leading of the Holy Spirit. But none of this saves us. What saves us is nothing but our faith in Christ's death and resurrection as payment for the penalty for our sin, and nothing we will ever do can either diminish or improve on that.

On the other hand, we read in various places in Scripture about aspects of separation that we definitely do have some control over. For example:

6. We are to separate ourselves from unbelievers...

...and separate ourselves unto God the Father.

16What agreement has a temple of God with idols? For you are a temple of the living God. Even as God said, "I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they will be my people."

17Therefore, "'Come out from among them, and be separate,' says the Lord. 'Touch no unclean thing. I will receive you.

18I will be to you a Father. You will be to me sons and daughters,' says the Lord Almighty."

(2 Corinthians 6:16–18)

Again, this doesn't mean we should shun people just because they aren't believers; it means we shouldn't go along and join them in activities that displease or dishonor God.

7. We are to separate ourselves from impurity...

...and separate ourselves unto holiness.

7For God called us not for uncleanness, but in sanctification.

(1 Thessalonians 4:7)

The Holy Spirit that dwells within us wants no part of filth; if we remain sensitive to His leading, neither will we.

8. We are to separate ourselves from conformity to the world...

...and separate ourselves unto conformity to God's will.

2Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God.

(Romans 12:2)

As we spend more time talking to God and reading His word, we begin to think less like the world...and more in ways pleasing to Him.

9. We are to separate ourselves from false gods...

...and separate ourselves unto the true God.

21Little children, keep yourselves from idols.

(1 John 5:21)

8Jesus answered him, "Get behind me Satan! For it is written, 'You shall worship the Lord your God, and you shall serve him only.'"

(Luke 4:8)

A false god or idol is whatever you worship that is not God: money, success, power, status, pleasure, sports, entertainment, and so on. Incidentally, the phrase "false gods" includes our old buddies Allah, Buddha, Krishna, etc.

Oh, I'm sorry...did I just offend some of you who buy into the myth that "Allah" is just the Muslim name for the God of the Bible? Wrong answer. Shoo...come back when you've done your homework.

10. We are to separate ourselves from hate...

...and separate ourselves unto love.

20If a man says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who doesn't love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

(1 John 4:20)

34A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, just like I have loved you; that you also love one another. 35By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

(John 13:34–35)

Jesus made it as clear as He possibly could that the single most important trait of a believer is love.

And it's not a suggestion—it's a command.

Seek and ye shall find

Just like some of the children at the kindergarten where I used to teach, however, some Christians continue to act as though God wanted to strip away from them everything in their comfortable, familiar little world. They experience some degree of separation anxiety in a sense, as if being a Christian and following Christ meant having to give up so many good things. Cool, fun things that all their friends do. Things that are just part of modern life in the twenty-first century. Things...that Paul referred to in Philippians 3:8 as skubala (literally, filthy table scraps thrown to the dogs). The King James Version translates it a little more graphically: dung.

There's only one sure cure for this, and that is to draw closer to God. Seek Him. How? Simple. Talk to Him—and let Him talk to you through His Word. There's no other way...and don't listen to deceived people who try to tell you there are other ways.

The more we talk to Him and He talks to us through His Word, the more He will be able to reveal to us the unfathomable depth of His love, the uncompromising sanctity of His holiness, the exacting perfection of His justice, the overflowing abundance of His grace, and the rock-solid certainty of His promises.

As He does so, many of the pleasures and pursuits of this world that most people eagerly chase after—things that do not honor God, or at least do nothing to draw us nearer to Him—will begin to seem like so many useless distractions. Things we may have cried loud and long to hang onto—along with the separation anxiety we felt at the thought of giving them up—will melt away in the joy and peace of an ever deepening and ever more rewarding relationship with the Lord.

And we'll begin to realize that it's worth it.

For Christians, that's a natural part of growing up, too.

Greg Lauer — MAY '12

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Credits for Graphics (in order of appearance):
1. Adapted from Sunset Over Grass Field © AOosthuizen at Can Stock Photo
2. Little Girl Crying © tomwang at Can Stock Photo
3. Holy Bible © sagasan at Can Stock Photo
4. Wooden Fence with Fog © PinkBadger at Can Stock Photo
5. Fruit of the Spirit © JLPJMP at Can Stock Photo

Scripture Quotations:
All Scripture is taken from the World English Bible, unless specifically annotated as the King James Version (KJV) or the American King James Version (AKJV).